I'm Scared...

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Hey Guys x

Today, as you read this (if you're reading on the day that I upload), then it is the 1st of June.

This is the month that I leave college.

And a lot of people have said this to me, regarding exam results or just leaving in general, but I haven't said it to myself or to anyone else.

I'm scared.

I'm scared that I didn't start revising early enough and now it's too late to make a difference.

I'm scared that I was never destined to pass anything in the first place, that going to university is just a distant dream that I was never meant to achieve.

I'm scared that I've wasted the last 2 years of my life and, come August, I'll have nothing to show for it.

I'm scared that I won't get the results that I want and I'll have to make some big decisions in a really short space of time.

I'm scared of that moment 5 seconds before opening my results, when someone else has got exactly what they needed and is screaming because they can't believe it.

I'm scared that I can't compete with other people. I'm scared that I still think I have to.

I'm scared about that moment 5 seconds after opening my results. When everyone is clambering to know whether I did well or not.

I'm scared for a few weeks after that, no matter what I get.

I'm scared about possibly starting university when I still feel like a 15 year old.

I'm scared about having to be independent, to take care of things myself. Even though staying at home makes things easier, I'm scared of not knowing exactly what will happen.

I'm scared of having to make friends all over again.

I'm scared that I picked the wrong course and I'll come to regret it in the future.

I'm scared that I'll finish uni and not get a job.

I'm scared that I'll never finish writing a book.

I'm scared that I'll never become an author.

I'm scared that I'll be in a job that I hate for the rest of my life.

I'm scared of being unhappy.

I'm scared that what I do will never ever be good enough.

I'm scared of being alone.

I'm scared of having tonnes of people in my life and still feeling like I'm the only one.

I'm scared that I have no control over my future.

I'm scared that my future has already been decided.

I'm scared that it hasn't.

I don't really know how to finish this post so I'm just going to end it like this.

Here are some of my fears about the future.

Thank you for reading

Comment below some of your fears about the future!

Keep Smiling - Lou xx

Comments

  1. Chloe // Thoughtful Clouds1 June 2015 at 20:34

    This is so deep. keep smiling, I want to say it gets better, it could happen but you may have to wait a while ;)
    ~basicallychloe xx
    Don't forget to smile! :) ~ x
    www.basicallychloeblog.blogspot.com ♡

    ReplyDelete
  2. Crystallized Daisies1 June 2015 at 22:41

    I think you are going to do amazing on your exams. I tend to leave everything until last minute because I worry more about it then actually trying to do something about it. I'm right there with you. It feels like time has just gone by so fast and we already have to decide what we want to do with our future. It's like everything is just being thrown at us from left and right. But I believe that we all have the ability to accomplish so much :) Try not to worry too much and let things happen as they will. You'll always find a way to get through it as you've done with many things in the past. Enjoy the time now while you have it ;) I think you are going to do great!

    -Crystal
    http://crystallizeddaisies.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lou5 June 2015 at 14:50

      Aw, thank you so much, this is so helpful! xx

      Delete
  3. DontBurstMyBubble2 June 2015 at 10:20

    I really love this idea ! It's so brave of you to share your ideas but it's also kind of cleansing to get it all out into the open :) Really inspirational <3

    Love Marianne xxx

    http://myhappybubblexx.blogspot.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete
  4. DontBurstMyBubble2 June 2015 at 10:21

    I really love this idea ! It's so brave of you to share your ideas but it's also kind of cleansing to get it all out into the open :) Really inspirational <3

    Love Marianne xxx

    http://myhappybubblexx.blogspot.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete

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