Replying To 17 Year Old Me!

Hey Guys x

So, I did a post called 'Letter To My Future Self' some time ago, and just forgot about it. But then I saw that YouTuber Bethan Leadley (Musical Bethan) does a video to her future self every 2 years or so, and I thought that was a really nice idea, so I'm going to do it too.

Tomorrow I'll be putting up a post from me to my 22 year old self, so make sure you see that!

Here is the post from my 17 year old self. I'll be quoting from it in this post.

Anyway, here goes.

To 17 year old Lou, from 20 year old Lou.

First of all, are you still running this blog? Maybe you've bought yourself a domain name and are making money from this crazy hobby, which we both know would be a dream come true.

Yes, I am still running this blog. I haven't even thought about not running it in the last 3 years. No I haven't bought myself a domain name, and to be honest, that would no longer be a dream come true for me. I'm completely happy with my blog and right now, I'm not going out of my way to make money from it.

Did you find the university course for you? Have you finally decided to pick a career, or are you lying low until your options become clear?

Yes I did find the course for me. I'm currently studying English with Creative Writing and, it's not the best course in the world, but it'll be a good degree to have. And yes, you have picked a career, loosely you want to do something in production, but that could easily change.

Are you still obsessed with YouTubers? Or maybe you've decided to become one. You know I've toyed around with this idea once or twice. Have you finally taken the plunge and turned 'Lou's World' into something 3 dimensional?

YouTubers are not my current obsession. I still watch them, Vlogmas was great, but I definitely don't look up to most of them as I once did. No, I've not decided to become one, and I don't know if that will ever happen. Maybe one day.

How's the anxiety? Have you found a time where we can stop worrying about the little things and start living like we haven't a care in the world? Or is the world, and the future for that matter, a scary place that you still can't work out?

It's... manageable. For the last few weeks, it's been ok, hopefully it can continue that way. No you can't stop worrying about the little things, but the world isn't as scary as it was when I was 17.

What do you look like now? Have you learnt to walk in heels, or to wear more daring outfits? Are you still wearing glasses or have you got over the fear of putting your fingers in your eyes and purchased contacts? Are you happy with the way you look? You weren't in 2014, but maybe you've found a way to see what you never could before. Or maybe you still avoid taking pictures and looking in mirrors, because there are some things that never really change.

There's a wedding coming up, so walking in heels is definitely in the distant future. Whether you'll fall or not, I don't know. No to the daring outfits, yes to not caring how people feel about them. Yes you wear glasses. And yes, you're happy with the way you look. You're not the most confident person in the world, but you can take pictures and look in mirrors now. In fact, you forgot that you couldn't before.

What are your hobbies? Have you converted to E-books, or audio books? Or are you still the girl that will carry around paperback books until the end of time?

Weirdly enough, books are not your main hobby anymore, there's just not enough time to read! But yes, you're the girl who will carry around paperback books until the end of time. But your main hobby is films. Watching them, writing stories that you want to turn into scripts, making a note of your favourite directors, everything film related!

Do you miss 2014? Do you miss a time when bills weren't what you had to pay and the place where you laid your head to rest after each day was still under mum's roof? Is it weird knowing that you're in the real world now, rather than just Lou's World? You have to make something of yourself. Do you know what yet?

I don't miss 2014. I don't miss who I was or being at college or being 17. I still live under mums roof, so have no bills to pay, which is obviously great. And I still don't feel like I'm in the real world yet, but getting closer and closer to it every day.

Tell me it gets better. I've always prayed for the future to allow me to be the best me that I can. Please tell me this is still possible. Tell me that, yes you probably went through shit, but you were able to make it out the other side. Tell me that you're happy. That you wake up each morning with an even bigger smile on your face. That you're excited for what the days will bring, rather then worrying about being judged and ridiculed by your peers.

First of all, 17 year old me, I'm itching to correct your grammar. Then instead of 'than', really? You're also incredibly unrealistic, I don't think anyone wakes up each morning with an even bigger smile on their face. However, the answer to your question is yes and no. Yes things are better, but the search for happiness is still ongoing. You're not miserable, and you smile a lot, (whether at real people or interviews with your favourite actors!) which is a good thing. Hopefully happiness is imminent.

What has changed? Can you drive or pay bills? Do you own a car, a flat or maybe a house of your very own? Have your changed your predictable hairstyles and are you the person that you somehow knew you always were? Are you religious?

Not much has changed in terms of these, 17 year old me was very presumptuous! No I can't drive, pay bills or have my own place to live, and to be honest, I'm not in a rush for any of these things. Your hairstyles have changed, thanks to meeting your best friend who is amazing with hair, and you still don't know who you are, but you're figuring it out. As well as being religious. You're figuring it out.

What has stayed the same? Are you still an introvert? I assume you are, things like that don't change easily. But are you the person that school has forced you to be. Are you the person you were at school or at home? Introverted vs Outgoing? Have you made a choice or has it been made by the people around you?

You're an introvert. There's nothing you can do to change that and you wouldn't want to.

But seriously Lou, who are you now? Are you big or small, happy or miserable? Are you a snob or a slob? Do you still find pleasure playing sims and reading chick-lit or have you become the person who reads newspapers and never plays games because 'you're too old for this now?'

You're mostly happy, or getting there. Sims and chick-lit are still present, probably moreso now than ever. And you don't know who you are yet, but you're getting there. And you're happy with that.

Thank you for reading

As I said, I'll be doing a follow-up to this tomorrow, so check it out!

Comment below what you'd say to your past self!

Lou xx