Friendships

The Problem with People-Pleasing

Hey Guys x

Sorry this is up an hour late - I've been having laptop problems!

I've been thinking about friendships a lot lately, both the friendships that I have and the friendships that I see forming around me.

I have this problem where, if I'm friends with someone, I have high expectations from them. Not anything big, just like being there for each other and doing things together etc etc.

But the worst thing about that is that if it doesn't happen, or if I end up feeling left out for any reason, I start to write the friendship off because I feel that, obviously if they don't want to spend time with me then they must hate me and not want to be my friend right?

However, I've been thinking about this recently, about the different types of friendships.

I've come to the conclusion that my friends are great for different things, but none of them are great at everything - which is normal, I'm not great at everything either.

One of my closest friends is great at lots of things, but she's not here - she's gone away for uni. Yet we still manage to speak multiple times a week, and I really appreciate that because we help each other with our problems, encourage each other to vent to each other and make a real effort to keep in touch, which is great!

And then I have the friends that are here, the closest of which I've met at university, and I am so grateful to them, two in particular, for being there when I need to talk and helping me with uni stuff. But I can't expect these uni friends vent to me, just like I can't expect my close friend to get me through uni, because they serve different purposes in my life. And it's only now that I'm starting to understand this.

I was speaking to someone the other day who immediately suggested that we add each other on Facebook, effectively making us 'friends'. This was only the second conversation that we'd had, so I knew that she's wasn't a friend like my other friends were to me. And yet, I can still smile at her when I see her and speak to her and be friendly - and be a friend.

What I'm getting at is that, until now, I've had a limited number of friends.

This is because, when I think of a friend, I only have one vision in mind. Someone who's there for me no matter what and who is essentially the best friend possible. If anyone falls short of this, then I refuse to think of that person as my friend. And this is so wrong because your friends are supposed to serve many different purposes in your life.

Anyway, this was just a bit of a ramble about friendship to take my mind off how lonely I feel right now, haha!

Speaking of friendship, my friend Abi Kelly wants to do a collab month with as many bloggers as she can! I'm collabing with her, and I want you guys to get involved too! Her blog is here, where she explains what she wants to do. But you can also email her (abi.the.kelly@gmail.com) to get involved!

Thank you for reading!

Comment below your thoughts on friendships - and your reaction to my post!

Keep Smiling - Lou xx

Comments

  1. Thanks so much for the comment, and this post is genuinely what I have also been thinking about recently! xxx

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is truly an interesting post. I notice if you're not friends with someone, at least I can say hi. Just good terms I guess. Glad you shared this. And feeling alone times is hard to deal with, but at least hopefully, ut could be a chilling time also. I do hope you get out of the feeling soon. Take care, and such an interestly, great post :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Friendships have always been difficult for me, I'm not good at making or keeping them. This is interesting for me because I've actually been thinking about this a lot recently and I didn't know how to put it into words till reading this, so thank you, I'm starting to see now that there are different types of friendships. And just because I don't have close friends doesn't mean I have no friends. Loved this post x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know how you feel, and I'm really sorry that you feel like you don't have close friends. Thank you xx

      Delete

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