My First Year At University!

Hey Guys x

I know that my blog posting has been suffering a bit over the last few weeks, however, this was because I was revising for and taking exams.

And now, I'm finished!

I have finished my first year and uni, and it feels incredible!

If you've been reading my blog for a while, you might remember last year when I wrote posts about how scared I was about starting. I thought I was going to have a horrible time and make no friends and fail everything.

But I've made it through the other side with a fresh perspective.

It definitely wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, for sure! But it wasn't the fun, exciting experience that everyone said it would be either.

And I'm fine with that - because a lot of people's fun experiences involve moving away from home, clubbing, getting drunk and doing things that they couldn't do at home.

However, this isn't me. I don't really drink, I'm not a clubbing person at all, and the fear of my social anxiety getting worse definitely stopped me from even thinking about moving out - and I was prepared for this.

However, I wasn't prepared to make any good friends. Sure, acquaintances, but not people that I'd want to see once uni had finished. And to my surprise, I've made two really good friends, which alone make going to uni worth it.

But also, no matter what marks I get, I have completed my first year. I worked really hard, did all my essays, turned up to a good amount of classes and got whatever grade I'll get.

And it's also given me a lot of confidence that I never thought I would have.

Now, I can make phone calls for myself, go to doctors appointments, have CBT for my anxiety, answer the door or phone when I don't know who's on the other side, buy things with my own money! And for all of these things, I'm so happy that I made the choice to go to Uni.

But I can't lie and say that it was the best year of my life and I'm really looking forward to second year, because this isn't quite true.

There have been times this year when I've felt like giving up - I've wanted to quit so many times that I can't even count, and once or twice I've actually come pretty close.

It's also always easy to compare yourself to this whole new group of people. They're smarter, better looking, from more interesting areas. They've read books that I've never even dreamed of reading, they idolize authors that I haven't even heard of. They're practically beginning their journalistic, authorial careers and I'm still writing fan fics (Not that I don't love it! Writing my current fan fiction give me so much joy and happiness and I never want it to end!).

And this will definitely always be something that I'll have to work at ignoring, and it'll be like this wherever I were to go or whatever I'd do, so I know that this is my own problem.

And it's definitely not as social when you live at home, or when you have social anxiety, which is also something that I have to work on.

But overall, did I enjoy my first year? Kind of
Would I re-live it? Nope. I'm very happy to leave year one in the past!
Are you glad you went to uni? Very
Are you looking forward to second year? Somewhat

Thank you for reading!

Comment below if you're going to uni or not, or if you're already in Uni. What was your first year like?

Keep Smiling - Lou xx